I Went On a Date with a Ranga

torchy! I was going ga-ga when he walked in! Forget that he's mid 30s - he's so hot, but most of all, just genuinely a nice person!

Kayess You are so profound!

Ryan!! Thanks for the comment and you landed on my blog! I've heard so much about you!

Just, hahaha! So, did you watch the movie and did you like it? How did your date go?!!

Ethan Aww.. Don't doubt yourself. :) I think you are very good with words - I've been reading your blog and its good!! And no one's judging your words.

MartininBroda Thank you!

Ron Bird was a lifesaver indeed. And I am blackmailing Brett because he stinks.

***

I had a very nice evening with a cutie last night! It's actually not big news but I used to have a major crush on this boy. Nigel is my age, he's a performer and a teacher, and he's a red-head / ranga.

And he's a total cutie - Brett can be my witness.

Well, its a long story, but basically, I met Nigel through some of the weirdest circumstances. I've had a bad day, and everything didn't go well, including the bus, so I ended up in the city. It was Brisbane Festival and Nigel was performing - I was on the way to the bus stop to catch another bus, but I caught his performance and decided to stop and watch.

After it was finished, I went up to say 'hi' and told him it was an amazing performance!

I followed him on Twitter that night and he followed me back. After a few exchange of Twitter messages, we started exchanging emails, before we decided to meet up again. These happened just two days after I saw his performance. He invited me to watch his final performance (it was a 5 days performance) and I did - and then after he's changed and packed up, we went to a Spiegeltent to watch a cool band perform and had a few beers.

It was a Sunday night, and the Spiegeltent closed at 12.30am, but we weren't ready to call it a night, so we walked around the city looking for a place to hang out. Everything was closed, but we were determined, so we jumped on a cab and went to a suburb and had a few more beers at a bar. We talked and talked the entire night, and danced a little, flirted with random people on the dancefloor and then decided to leave when everything closed at 3.00am. It's mindblowing the amount of things we spoke about the whole night. We still laugh at the amount of things we know about each other. 7 hours of getting to know all about our life - he was also the first person I directly admitted that I was gay.


We met up again a week later for coffee, dinner and went to watch a play. Then he left for Korea where he was on tour teaching young kids about story-telling, and its also where his long-term boyfriend resides.

I know, I know he has a long-term boyfriend and a hot one too! His boyfriend is a local (Aussie) as well, but is living in Korea, working as an actor.

These were three months ago.


Nigel came back last week but have been interstate for a conference. We arranged to catch up last night.

Another thing you might not know about me is, I run a few other "projects" and one of them entitle me to preview and advanced screenings of movies by Paramount Pictures and Roadshow Films - I also get invited to VIP premieres, and sometimes get tickets to give out as well.

So, I got a ticket to The Road's advanced screening last night so we decided to go, except we were both not sure where the cinema was! We met up in the city at 5.00pm and took a bus to the airport - which is rather far away. Got off at the wrong stop, laughed at each other's cluelessness and walked and chatted until we found the cinema. We had dinner and then the movie. After the movie, we went for a walk around the riverside, just talking about random things in our lives - we also exchanged a few secrets, laughed at each other and pay each other out (to the Americans: it means give each other a hard time).

It was a really beautiful riverside walk and just a very nice night overall. It was nice to be able to be totally uninhibited and have a genuine good friend I can trust and be silly with. We also carried each other (or at least tried to) and say silly things to random strangers.


T'was a really nice, and happy night! :)

No, nothing else happened! He's got a boyfriend!

But I'm inviting him to a workshop I've been invited to run, and he's going to be a guest speaker on my behalf.

PS: None of the above pictures is of Nigel - and he looks a lot younger than the above rangas / red-heads.

***

Are you an Aussie reader of mine? If so, can you please leave a comment where in Aussie so I know? Even if its anonymously! :)

I Met a Gay Cowboy

Just - Haha! Thanks, mate!!! Well, you definitely had a bad example there. :) He's not nice at all. Where in the US do you live?

JC, cheers for the link!! I really appreciate that! :) I will definitely keep you in mind if I need anything or have got any questions.

Ethan! :0 You've never been on a plane before?

Davie - shuttup you! :P

KS - I'll survive that.

Brett - you watch out! I'm going to post hideous pictures of you! Yes, this is a blackmail! :P

***

I went to a party last night, had 9 beers, and came back with only 1/3 of my hair left on my head.

No, I didn't pass out or anything - I was frustrated with my hair and got my friend to cut it for me. I got a straight girl and a gay guy to supervise, and I thought with those two, it wouldn't be too terrible. I don't think it turned out too badly... Hmm?

***

This post is has turned out to be more difficult to write than I thought it would be. Adam's life has such a significant and huge impact on me, that I don't even know where to start, how to start and I am worried I will not do him enough justice. But his life is so beautiful, he is such an amazing and humble person, I want people to know of his story, because I found a friend and an inspiration in him.

Last week in Sydney, written on the white board were two names that I wasn't familiar with. Two people who will drop by in the afternoon - one, a very talented, highly sought after journalist, and another, a guy plucked from the rough bush of Australia and put under the spotlight. Before you wonder what were they doing there, I was at a media training.

The journalist, Neil, wrote an article about Adam, the cowboy from the bush, and it went on to become the highest selling edition of the newspaper in history. Adam is no ordinary cowboy from the bush, he was a gentle soul, and an everyday all-around nice Aussie bloke. What made him "different" was that he's gay, and he was Heath Ledger's best friend.

Photo credit: Steven Siewert

Link to the article.

Adam is an amazing man with a kind, humble heart - true to the very true blue Aussie spirit. However, as a true blue Aussie, one would know there is an expectation for everyone to be the tough Aussie blokes stereotype, especially as a country boy. Growing up, Adam has always been the mischievous boy who gets into a lot of trouble. He was hyperactive, naughty and unstoppable, but in him was a boy who just wanted to have fun.


As he grew older, he found himself attracted to men, and the battle begins. He struggled to fight those emotions and try to lock those feelings into a dark closet at the deepest part of his heart. He was an attractive young man and would get lots of females attracted to him, but he was never interested in any of them. He was popular, and on the outside, he was a happy man, but deep down, he would cry to sleep and he hated himself for his sexuality, he thought was abnormal.

At 19, after high school ended, he went water skiing with a bunch of friends. After a few drinks, on his way back, at a turning, he did a turn bigger than he intended to, and hit an on-coming car. The young driver was killed on spot, and Adam was left feeling guilty for the rest of his life. In the weeks after the accident, he battled with severe depression and would often isolate himself. One day, he wrote a suicide note, left it on his bed and walked to a cliff where he would kill himself - the only solution he can think of, to heal the guilt and his struggle with his sexuality. A bird came and sat on a branch nearby and started singing. No one knows what went through his mind, but he bawled his eyes out and sat there for ages, before deciding to ditch the plan.

He was sentenced to 6 months jail - a time when he rediscovered himself. When he was out of jail, he traveled across Australia, worked in some of the most extreme and dangerous conditions, got himself into crazy stunts because those were the only ways he can distract himself from his gay thoughts.

A few years later, he found himself in a rodeo and found his own true calling. He went on to work with a few horses and found his passion - horses. He became a horse trainer, and was recruited to train horses and the casts of Ned Kelly, where he met Orlando Bloom, Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger, who became his best friend until Heath died.


After the production of Ned Kelly, Adam moved back home. A few months later, he fell in love with a man, but he was struggling with the emotions. He would lash out at his family and friends - and he would blame himself. But one day, he decided to come out to his best friend, and that was the beginning of a truly amazing story. Both rejection and acceptance, denial and love. Over the next few years, he slowly came out - a story like many of us who slowly come out to our friends. The day Heath read the script of Brokeback Mountain, he called Adam and told him that he just read a script that is a lot like his story.

Adam even flew to Canada to meet Heath and spend a few days on the set of Brokeback Mountain.

A few days after Heath was nominated for an Oscar for his role in Brokeback Mountain, Neil wrote and published the story of Adam. It became the highest selling edition of the paper in history.

After the news article, The Australian Story on ABC ran a 30 mins documentary of Adam's life. We were shown the documentary. Two very short clips of the documentary can be found here and the full transcript here. I was sitting with another 20 people in the room, most of them don't know that I'm at least gay. One of them have questioned me before, and I just laughed and said, "why did u ask?" and he said, "just wondered" but he never found out. Another guy who might know is the guy who cuddled me the night before. When the documentary ended, a number of them were in tears and I was sitting there with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face. My heart was warm and we heard footsteps. We all turned around, and there he was, tanned, masculine and tall, Adam. We all clapped, and some of the girls, still wiping their tears, struggled to stand up and clap. I must say that he's a lot cuter and hotter than he looks in picture and on screen. (I admit I had a crush!) He said hi and apologised for being late because he had to feed the horses before he can come to meet us.

He had a chat with us and after the very long group chat, we broke for afternoon tea. I went up to him and he introduced himself, we had a handshake and I asked him a few questions about the media. (After the documentary went on air, other media requests came flooding in to the point where they had to hire an agent.) And then I asked him a question I've been keeping for a while, "How did you made the decision to come out in a major newspaper? What went through your mind, and did you think of the consequences?"

He laughed and replied, "Good question, and I probably should have but I didn't think of the consequences too much. I thought I'll just do it and whatever happens next, I have to deal with it sooner or later. This is me, and I need it to happen."


He brought his book with him as well - the retail price is $35. I finished reading the book on Saturday and its just so surreal. It's a very honest book - he even wrote about his first wet dream at 15, his sexual encounters and his first love. I smiled, I cried and I spent all week reflecting upon my own life. I felt that like he was so near to me and that his life is a reflection of my own - yet I am no match to his bravery and courage. He's just such a genuine and nice person, and it is very obvious the young man, also named Adam, he killed stayed with him all through his life. He talks about Adam all through the book - how he still talk to Adam, how he made peace with Adam's family, and even until today, he still talk to Adam whenever he can. He once wished so hard that he could exchange position with Adam, but now, he's accepted that he can't turn back time.

Adam is now in his mid 30s, and he only came out about 4-5 years ago. He still lives and works in the bush running his own horse training business.

Xmas and the New Year

This post was written by guest bogger, Kayess

It's finally December and it seems that Christmas and the New Year is fast approaching.

The school decided to force us to watch Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol in theatre form this afternoon and I'm sorta actually glad they did. Lotsa singing, great acting and a nice change in pace for a Friday afternoon, whilst introducing some important themes (shut up I know I'm dorky :P). Most important idea for me was that of time. Ebenezer Scrooge is introduced to three ghosts - the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet to Come - and collectively, they play a large role in showing the effect time has on changing people's nature and character. I'm beginning to notice the effect of time on myself in terms of my mindset especially after being exposed to newer ideas and experience since moving here. I'm not necessarily sure if this change in mindset is a 'good' thing or a 'bad' thing, which A Christmas Carol makes a distinction of, but expectedly, time will most certainly tell.

A friend messaged me at 12am on Dec 1st, telling me that there's only a month left to 2009. It took me a while to process that and the thing that struck me most about that fact, is the reality of how fast time passes by. If you put it into perspective, it's just under a month left 'til 2010, the start of a new decade. It felt like yesterday that we were panicking about the millenium bug and merrily welcoming in the new millenium and I'm surprised at how fast time has flown by. Granted I was about 6 when the millenium came in, but I do still have some memories from my childhood! I'll likely be doing a reflective post on the last decade soon and I reckon it'll be a cool thing for other bloggers/readers to do one just to see how much has changed.

Whoa. Too much focus on time. Someone call for a time out ;)

It's 10.44pm and I'm sitting and cringing here in my room, watching images of self-inflicted torture, or as National Geographic and its participants call it, body modification. I mean I've seen this program before, but never to the gruesome level of today's gory depictions of bodily mutilations. WTF people?! I'm not usually one to judge but..WTF?! I've seen surgical procedures on TV before, but seeing someone go to a macabre parlour of sorts to get their tongue split (like a friggin snake) with scalpel and blood and everything has seriously done me some serious psychological damage for tonight! And it's not just that! They go on to show some weird eye-tattoo shit with a tattoo artist using a hypodermic needle to dye the whites of a person's eye with black ink all without anaesthetic D: Haha I probably now sound like a traumatised whiny kid so I shall stop.

Stay safe and punctual

------------------------
Ironically, I celebrate neither Christmas nor the New Year. Also, don't forget to read Aaron's post below!

Santa Came Early This Christmas

Cooper, I'm sure you'll meet someone who'll give you plenty of nice touch, massage and tickles one day. :) Just make sure you make the best of it when it comes!

Mr. Urs, haha. I get goosebumps when I'm tickled, but good goosebumps though. Those that makes you cringe but smile. :) And I definitely have to agree hugs are awesome! I love cuddles and hugs.

naturgesetz - haha! Hmm.. I guess its kinda wow, but its not all that great though!

Davie, YES only good tickles and no, the differences are pretty big!!! Don't be sneaky I tell you. :P

Ron, they're everywhere. :) You just need to be comfortable with people - a friend of mine and I used to have platonic spooning for a few days.

Martini Broda, I'm glad that you agree with me! And not think that I was mad. :P

***

Santa came early this year. Well, at least for me!


No, not in the form of naughty Santa, but Santa who gives you nice gifts.

Obviously, I have been nothing but nice this year, so Santa not only prepared a big gift for me, but he was so enthusiastic to get it to me that he braved the hot Aussie summer and sent it to me early this year.

Santa this year came in the form of a major international airline. Three of you guys, my readers, are my friends on Facebook and you might had me harrassing you to vote for me in a competition a while ago.

Well, the news came in this week that I was in the Top 10 and have won myself a free return trip to Los Angeles!!!

It's my first time winning a major prize, so I was quite majorly excited. It will be my first time in America, so I will be a total n00b. I hope you Americans are nice - I've heard nasty stuff about you guys! I'm joking! :P But seriously, I was told that LA is fairly unsafe, but hey, I'm risking that.

Now my problem is, I would love to get to Chicago and Atlanta for two conferences that I have got sponsorship too - its ridiculous how easily I can get sponsorship sometimes. I was also invited to visit an organisation in San Fransisco, when I met with the CEO a few days ago in Sydney.

Now, my question is, do you think its possible for me to fly LA - SF - Chicago - Atlanta - Chicago? And if so, what are the cheap internal airlines I can get? And any tips for fend myself against the crazy Yanks?

I swear I have nothing against the Americans! :P Vote on the poll in the sidebar!

Naked Cuddles

I am back from Sydney with a few interesting stories, but I thought I should address some comments from my previous two posts.

Brett and savante, yes, when I said you in the last post, I meant you two. :) I actually meant anyone who reads it to be honest and I know you guys do. :)

And fuck nuts, thanks torchy, Just, Octavius, Ron, Broderick and Brett for the nice comments in my second last post. And to KS, I am choosing LA - which brings me to the good news. I was told today that I got my free return trip to LA! More on that in another post.

And here's a shoutout to JC who emailed me. :)

***

So, I was in Sydney last week for a training and that was on Friday and Saturday. I flew in on Thursday morning with the intention of getting into the office and have a couple of meetings, but that did not happen. Instead, I was asked to jump on a cab and was driven to a golf course to hang around with some rich people at a charity event. It was lots of fun I must admit.

A friend of mine, Nate flew in a day earlier as well and we met up in the evening. We both checked into a hostel and then met with Brad for dinner. They are both openly gay - no, I didn't intentionally invite two gay guys out to dinner, Nate just wanted to fly in a day early and Brad just happened to be free that evening. They made a few jokes about me being the only 'straight' (as far as they're concerned) one in the group, which I make no replies to.

Long story short, dinner and chat until about 12am when we decided that we should call it a night. We walked back to the hostel where I had a shower before climbing into bed. It was a room with 2 bunk beds and there were another two strangers, drunk and deeply asleep in the room. I took off my T-shirt, pull the cover over and took off my pants, ready to lie down in my boxers when I caught Nate staring at me from his bed. I pretended that I did not see him, lied down and pulled the covers over me.

A few minutes later, he wrote on his phone, "Your body is hot!"

I gave a chuckle and close my eyes.

Moments later, I see bright lights and opened my eyes. He's shoved his phone near my face and it said, "I wanna touch your body".

I took my phone out, and wrote back "Go to sleep".

Then, he wrote back, "I'm horny".

I replied, "You are SO hitting on me right now".

At that point, as far as he was concerned, I'm straight and he wouldn't dare cross the line and harass me.

So there I was lying half naked under the covers with a million yes and no running through my head. Here is a guy who is presenting himself to me and if I would have listened to my hormone, I would have just got him in my bed right away, but no. I know that for the sake of my "branding" and "integrity", letting myself in would mean that I don't have self-control and I would lose quite some face value to him.

So after at least 15 minutes of physical silence while a storm of thoughts was brewing in my head, I gave in and wrote, "You can cuddle me for 2 minutes, but no touching anywhere waist down"

Within milliseconds, he was in my bed, under my covers. He was lying to my right and slowly, he rested his right hand on the right side of my chest. And then he moved, rubbing very gently and slowly to the left side of my chest, and slowly lifting his palm, leaving his fingers touching my skin. With the reduced skin contact, he tickled my bare torso from my chest to my stomach and on the way, used his index finger to rub on my very thin "treasure trail".

All those time, there I was, thinking, "Boy this is hot" but I wish my thoughts stopped there but instead, I also thought, "but this guy just.. doesn't do it for me." I don't feel attracted to him, there was no connection and I just didn't feel anything good at all with the whole situation. So after about 2 minutes (well, at least that's what I thought it was), I whispered, "Times up! Go back to sleep!" He refused but I repeated with a smile, "Seriously, Nate. Go back to bed" and he slowly move back to his bed.


I do love human touch. In fact, I love it more than anything else in a relationship (which includes friendship, parents-child, etc) and its probably the only thing that can reduce my heart to liquid but I don't know, I think with cuddling, rubbing and (good) tickling, I guess I need to have an attraction to that person. Have you guys experienced anything like this? Where you just lost interest in something you otherwise really enjoy?

Ohhhh Mamma Mia!

This post is by guest blogger, Kayess.

The school's production of the Mamma Mia musical is finally out so I decided to go watch it with a friend last night. With shows like this, you only appreciate the performance if you have friends/family members in it. It wasn't the best show I've seen, but the performance itself was absolutely lovely though especially since so many of my friends and peers were part of it and seeing them make fools of themselves on stage with horribly cheesy choreography was worth the watch and it turned out much better than expected anyway; the production showed a sneak preview of their numbers during assembly last week and it lacked the enthusiasm and spirit necessary for a musical. The acting was dubious for the most part, but the singing of some of the female leads was commendable.

The realities of living in a developing country struck midway through the Dancing Queen number in the form of a black out and as I was sitting next to the tech booth, you could definitely tell that something was going wrong and it wasn't planned. Frankly it was the best part for me not because I'm a sadist (which I AM lol), but because although initially stumped by the setback, the entire crew and cast CONTINUED through with the performance in the dark! There was a minor pause as the lights went out, but the orchestra continued playing from memory and the performers continued their number in typical 'the show must go on' showbiz fashion. For amateur performers and crew, I thought it showed incredible maturity and solidarity as well as good handling. Power came back 10-15 minutes later and all was good. Haha sadly, I didn't get to see my friend actors after the performance so I'll have to congratulate them in person on Monday for the good show :)

The taxis taken last night to and from the theatre were horrid and were the only things that spoilt my evening. I got cheated/lost 3 taxis* in a row and decided I'd just walk home from one of the lakes near my house (about 1-2 km away). I think the walk was enough to calm me down from the frustrations of the night and I ended up walking around a park for a while anyway. The combination of solitude, cool air and the gentle breeze provided a calm within me that made me feel complete and satisfied. Hardcore's my middle name, so I started petting some person's rottweiler for a good 10 minutes and then decided to go home at around 10 ;D

I now want a dog.

Stay safe babes ;)

*Taxi 1 got me lost, Taxi 2 ripped me off and asked me if I wanted to "booom boom" which translates to "sleeping with a whore", Taxi 3 was lost partly due to my poor pronunciation of local words *sigh*

Switched Off and Away

Just arrived in Sydney, in 2 cab on the way to the Golf Club for an
event. Sending this from my mobile but thought I'd post a quick post
to say that I'll be away for a wk with very very limited internet.
Have a GREAT weekend! Lots of love and thinking about YOU! Yes, you -
dont pretend you dont know. :P

--
--
Aaron
http://beautifoolchaos.blogspot.com