Friday, October 16, 2009

How do you know..

... what's true and what's false?

... if you trusted the right person or not?

Photo credit: joiseyshowaa

I was supposed to be at a cocktail party tonight for a charity I supported pro-bono, yet I found myself lying on the couch, dead to the world, watching Angels and Devils with my housemate whose sitting on the next couch cuddling with her new boyfriend - I know them both pretty well. Both shy initially, sitting with a gap between each other, but as the movie progressed, they got closer which was good - to see them getting comfortable with each other. As they lie on each other's shoulder, a transparent trust is established, an invisible conversation of love and happiness is agreed and an aura of truth, honesty and simplicity can be felt. Two teenagers, in love. Simple and beautiful.

And moments later, here I am, the supposedly perfect person, reflecting upon my own life as small gusts of cold wind travels through the gap in the blinds and brush my skin. In my quest to make this world a better place, make myself a better person and make my friends extra special, I get exhausted as my brain comes to a brickwall. I could climb over it or hammer it down like I usually do, yet this time I'd rather just sit here and weep as failure overcomes me.

Photo credit: MorBCN

It's hard to walk the lonely road. Not so much the difficulty of dragging both your feet off the ground against gravity to move yourself ahead, but the knowledge that as you walk the lonely street, people are looking, they are watching, somewhere, somehow, and you cannot see them.

How do you know if what someone says can be trusted?

How do you know you deserve something good in your life after being convinced that things too good cannot be true?

Photo credit: Khalid Almasoud

This lonely walk gets tiring sometimes. And along the way, I meet wonderful strangers, incredible, loving people who would give me a tap on the shoulder, give me a hug and the spirit to carry on. Yet, how do we know if these are sincere acts?

How do we know...


Fer said...

How do we now indeed, I can assure you that on MY behalf all that I ever say and do is sincere and with no strings attached. I must tell you that we really don´t know if someone is being truthful when they say "I love you" with all certainty, but we believe it to be truth because we want so much for those words to be truth, but if we just doubt that what people tell us all the time then not even small candles will be lit to light our walk. Yes this walk might get lonely sometimes, and yes, I might be a stranger to you, but from strangers come our best friends and our lovers, we just have to let them in, slowly and kindly, or our walks will get that much lonelier.
I´ll walk that path with you for as long as you let me :)
Love from a stranger -now-

pathetic prophet said...

Trust should not be given lightly. It's happened once in my life. This woman came into the gas station where I worked every morning and we started to talk, fifteen minutes at a time. Eventually it got to the point where our relationship expanded out of the gas station and we started to watch each other operate in our lives. I watched her take care of the people around her, how she sacrificed a lot to help them, how she could express her anger with them and still love and care for them. I opened up more and more, and she responded and opened up more. We can talk about anything, cry about anything, bitch about anything. We can have a fight; nothing stops our relationship. It's now ten years since the first hello. I know I can trust her. She knows she can trust me. And we do anything for each other that we can (although neither one asks very often).
It's a shame there aren't more people to trust but finding that one is so precious. I've grown just knowing her.
So the answer to "how do I know" is time, patience and checking out their life when they are not concentrating on your. There really are no shortcuts

Anonymous said...

It's hard to measure truthfulness in a world where there's so much deceit. Sometimes you don't really know who's sincere until an act of insincerity reveals itself. But I like what Fer said about everyone starting as a stranger at some point, even our closest friends and companions. It's all about time, building trust, and establishing a deeper connection with individuals you feel akin to.

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