Thursday, October 8, 2009

Love What Is

Dave and I got talking about 'love' today - not so much talking, more like I did all the talking!

Anyway, I thought I'd talk about my non-existent love life. Go figure.

Photo credit: alwaysbecool

I can be a bit picky who I want to be together with but at the same time, I don't really have a preference for the perfect person - i.e. I do not have a checkbox list! Having said that, whoever I choose to be my partner must have the right personality though. That is all I look for in a relationship.

My first girlfriend was a really gorgeous girl whom I love very dearly even up until today. She was beautiful and what I loved most about both of us were all the silly things we do. She calls me a camel and I call her a goldfish. I do not have any hump(s) and she has great memory. I don't even know how those nicknames came about. We spent our times doing the silliest things like throwing popcorns at the movies, attending funfairs and camps. Where there is fun, there is us two silly dorks. She was dorkier than I was - I was a pretty rebellious kool kid. We remained best friends now.

The second person I dated, it lasted one night. We were pretty much set to start our relationship and I asked her the magic question. We spent the night together and then the next night, I freaked out at what I got myself into. Commitment to a woman I don't even quite know if I can connect with or stay committed to, so very diplomatically, I told her I had to be a bastard and make an end. She was heart-broken at that time and fell into depression and I felt really bad. Yes, rub it in! I stayed with her though as her best friend to support her through and we remain close friends - she's now dating someone else. *Phew!*

I then *thought* I fell in love with two guys whom I dated for a while but I realised how different our worlds were. So, I called it quit and never really got into any form of relationship ever again although at the moment, I am in a really weird relationship with a straight man, which is story for another day - don't you love the suspense?! :P

The point of this whole rant is really just to write an entry.

No, not really but its an interesting part of my life I think. I never actually labelled myself as gay or bi. Only a very small number of very close friends know that I have my own unique ways of looking at love.

I never understood the whole idea of being gay or bisexual and the whole argument about, "everyone has a bit of bi tendency in them" never has an answer to it.

I love. Whoever I fall in love with, whatever he/she is, it comes with the person I fell in love with. Whether he/she is a male or female, gay or straight, black, white or purple - OK, maybe not purple - I didn't think they all really matters all that much to me. The most important thing to me is, we have to be able to communicate and are happy together.

Maybe I don't make sense - I had a really long day and the 3 hours meeting this morning totally screwed my brain so articulative is the last thing that my mind can bring itself to do. :P

A friend of mine told me, his motto is to accept and love what is; for me, I love and then accept what is.

Has anyone ever fell in love with someone that doesn't tick at least half their checklist?


mrgagaa said...

Hey Aaron,

I just stumbled onto your blog and have enjoyed reading the first two entries. It sounds like you have a lot of good things to share. I added your blog to my blogroll too, just so you know! Feel free to stop by and comment when you can. Best of luck on the new blog!

Anonymous said...

I don't believe in love anymore. Like unicorns, it's something made up to make people feel better about being with someone. No one's come close to my matching my checklist simply because I no longer have one.

Aek said...

My checklist is rather . . . short, I'd like to think. There is an "ideal" but I never expect anyone to match it, so I don't bother seeking "ideal." I will agree with you though - ability to communicate, to accept, and happiness together are perhaps most important.

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