Friday, October 9, 2009

My Family of Five

Last night while cutting potatoes, I slipped and sliced off quite a significantly big piece of my skin / flesh. I have a pretty high pain threshold but this one hurts quite madly and the blood wouldn't stop so I had to elevate it. I changed the bandage just now and when I opened the bandage, it started bleeding slowly again. Dammit!

It's not so much the pain I am bothered about, its the limitation having a bandaged finger has on everything I do, like typing!

***

I had a shit day at work - probably because I didn't have enough sleep the night before, and during my meeting, I had to take lead and I was just totally not in the zone. I had to call the meeting off early. Even after 2 mugs of coffee, I still felt cloudy in my head and heavy on every parts of my body so I left work and came home.

It was a wise decision. A certain owl talked to me for a while and made my day a bit better. Then he dozed off, I must have been too boring for him.

***

Thanks for the follows, Fer, Davey and James!

Thank you for the comments, mrgagaa and pathetic prophet! Very enlightening and good to know someone's reading my blog. Pathetic prophet, you brought up a really interesting point and I actually got really geekily excited reading your comment!

***

So, I've talked about my love life I thought now its time for me to talk about my family.

Photo credit: Sami Taipale

I haven't spoken to my family for a month. During that time, I had a viral infection and got quite sick and called my mum but no one picked up. They were probably on vacation somewhere - I don't know where though because they did not inform me.

I grew up in a pretty conservative, loving Asian family. There were 5 of us, mum and dad and two sisters - an elder and a younger. We were never affectionate as long as I can remember. I didn't hug my mum through my teenage years until when I was about 18 and I left my hometown. We never said 'I love you's until when I was about 19 when I left my country to live in a foreign country all by my own, 3000 miles away from home. From a developing nation to a first world, using English as my third language to becoming my first language. It was pretty daunting but here I am, in one piece, unscathed.

I've been brought up to be a very independent person. I was the only male in the family and I was 'trained' to be the head of the family. I was made independent at a very young age and taught to make wise decisions. Add to the fact that I have been through quite a few sudden deaths when I was young, those traumatic events have taught me to be responsible and strategic for every decision that I make. The best advice my mum ever told me was, "your life is a sum of all your choices" and with a luggage in my hand and a backpack on my back, I left my 'home' behind. I still hold on to a lot of my cultural values and my family's values - however, my parents and I have also come to a compromise that I can never live up to their expectations of me. I go home from time to time and they have visited me once in the past 4 years and we had a great family vacation travelling around Australia.

However, other than that, I don't speak to my family much - probably about once a month, sometimes longer. It's not so much because we are not close but because we don't have much to talk about. They do not understand a lot of things I do, such as social innovation and education research. I struggled to explain them to my friends, what more to say to my parents who never attended high school. So most of our conversations revolve around what I do in my daily life outside work - which is mostly attending events, eating, sleeping, eating, events, sleeping, meeting with friends, meet some more friends and have I mentioned sleeping? I love my sleep.

It's hard sometimes, and many a times, I do feel like an orphan. I feel as I though I'm the forgotten one in the family, which is not something I am not used to. It's either they don't give a shit about my life or because they know whatever happens to me, I would survive so they never give a shit. Whatever it is, I do miss knowing the fact that I have a family who loves me unconditionally.

Aah. Maybe I should call my mum.

***

Random fact: I hate olives. Unless they're on pizzas in small pieces or something like that.

7 comments:

pathetic prophet said...

Being kinda geeky myself, I can appreciate 'geekily excited'. Thanks for the plug; I think I'll go with the thought for the day theme for a little while. Glad to have stumbled on your blog. It's refreshing to hear someone who is positive about their life.

mrgagaa said...

Wow, thanks for sharing about your family and part of your life story in such depth. How does your family feel about your living so far away? Does it go against their expectation of you being the "man" or the "head" of the family? Coming from an Asian background as well I know there are expectations to "stick together" and for the oldest son (or at least one of them) to take charge when dad isn't able to.

Dave83201 said...

Aaron, you made me cry. It breaks my heart that you feel so between worlds, but then I know a little about that with my own family. What makes me most sad is your feeling of isolation from your loved ones. You make me appreciate having my crazy family near me.

Thank you for this beautiful, well written post!

Lots of love, and disinfect that finger!

Octavius said...

Hi Aaron,

Dave suggested I drop by, so here I am.

Am enjoying what I am reading so far. I will put you up on my list, drop by if you feel like it.

Octavius.

bold said...

Hi fellow aussie!
Liking what i've seen of the blog so far!
Check mine out if you have time :)

James said...

Dude, my family goes insane if they even have a hint that something's wrong with me. They like to be close and available, and I think they'd prefer I'd be at home. They have some education, though, so it is nice to be able to connect with them on that level, even if I tend to be way up here. That's got to be hard to not be able to connect with your parents on one of the biggest parts of your life.

*hugs*

Aek said...

I think you just described most Asian families . . . except my parents expect me to call once a week or so, though I don't really have anything to update them on. :-/

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