I was at a friend's fun and innocent 17th birthday party last night and it seemed like the level of bromance was particularly high. It's actually pretty amusing seeing as some of my faghags/girl friends commented on how the dudes in our grade are "borderline gay"; too much irony when I'm around!
It's funny, I think over this past few months, I've gotten way more hugging and other (non-sexual) physical contact than I've had over my entire life. My family isn't exactly one that is touchy-feely and it seems to be that maybe I've been missing that aspect of life.
Hugging and just lying around with other people is perhaps, something so simple, but it seems that the level of emotional comfort is provides is so vast. Yesterday, when I was lying around on the ground and hugging a bunch of other people, I felt safe...I felt wanted..I felt satisfied.
I was on a sofa during the party and this guy decides to sit on me butt-on-crotch and all. Sure it sounds sexual, but it was nothing of the sort. Something more of a platonic/brotherly love would describe the feeling of him being on me for the 15-30 minutes or so.
Somehow that got me onto thinking more onto relationships and how I'll most definitely look forward to one in the future. Of course I want one now, but current circumstance just makes it difficult and unlikely. The degree to which I feel a need to be in a relationship though seems to vary with the day and that's just something I find odd; maybe it's the hormones haha. Apart from wanting to eat and sexually devour any prospective lover, the sense of connection, comfort and security will be most definitely the other things I will look towards.
The party was only down the street from my house but the parents were all RAHRAH! about me getting home at 11.30. I swear to god, when my bro was my age, he was allowed out till a later time. I don't friggin get this double standard they impose upon me!! They constantly express their concerns about my safety but frankly, the country I'm in now is pretty safe and I'm not worried about getting mugged or stabbed to death by drunken chavs. Walkin home from that party, I was along a busy road and passed by 3 cops - the country's practically a police state - and they DARE imply that I could've been murdered and stabbed to death. Side question for the sake of my own sanity, how the hell should curfews be decided upon???
Finally, I should probably apologise to Aaron for being such a crap guest blogger and for completely shunning this place though he'll probably be moderately happy that I went to an Aussie university fair and looked at some universities as he suggested I should ;)
Stay safe and don't forget to look both ways before you cross...
and be home by 11.30pm ;)