Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Coming Out To My Brother

This blog post was supposed to be meant for Jason over at Carwin's Closet. Actually, it still is about Jason and let me indulge you with a bit about Jason.

I love stories, of people, places and things.

A few weeks ago, I had the very nice honour of reading Jason's essay that he wrote as part of his Social Norm Project, a school assignment where he has to choose a social norm and breaks it. Jason made a very courageous decision to come out - to his parents, his twin brother and his closest friends. And he used that story as part of his project, sharing the essay with his school. To say that he's a brave boy is an understatement, I must admit. At his age, I wouldn't even would have found the courage to come out, let alone to the entire school. Although I must say that circumstances amongst individuals differ and I will talk about this more.

Jason would probably have heard this a million times over, but the essay was a very raw, honest exposure of a young gay boy's longing to be living a life just like everybody else. Being able to be himself, and himself only. Having the freedom to say what he wants, what he likes and being able to do what he loves doing. And most importantly, having the freedom to love the person that he loves without having to be bounded by social norms.

I didn't get the time to read the essay until today whilst in the bus - work has been swamped and I am trying to get things out of the way before I go on leave next week on the 23rd.

The essay brought me on a short but courageous journey of a young gay boy who, although lives a thousand miles away from me, provided me with a sense of happiness and pride. It warms my heart to read a story like this.

On the topic of coming out, I came out to my brother last night.

He's not exactly my brother but that's another story altogether, which I'll post tomorrow night.

We spoke on the phone for an hour and a half catching up on each other's life and I popped the question if he's have any girlfriend which he replied, "you know me, no! Probably not in a long, long time" and before we hung up, he asked me the same question and I gave him the exact same reply he gave me.

I knew I had to tell him but couldn't find the courage, so instead, I texted him letting him know that I am at least bisexual. He replied saying with a comforting text and assured me that his love and respect for me as a brother has just gotten even more.

It was scary but it was actually rather relieving. Plus, I knew there is no way he'd tell anyone (he was in the Royal Air Force in the UK and his dad works for the secret services, so he can keep secret). Also, I knew no bad consequences will come out of telling him, so I did.

But he's not the first I came out to - ranga boy was the first guy I came out to. I actually didn't come out to him - he just assumed I was and I never denied it.

Having said that, I must remind you that coming out is not for everyone. There are circumstances where for certain individuals, coming out is not feasible or will bring some negative, unfixable consequences. You could be those individuals, and my advice is not to push it or feel obliged to do so.

If I have not tell you already, dear blog readers, I appreciate each and everyone of you, including the lurkers very very much. And sending you lots of love if you're hurting, and positive thoughts if you're feeling down. For those who have found love and happiness, I wish you well!


Seth said...

Part of me is a bit disappointed that you came out via a text message, but all of me is very proud for you!!

Anonymous said...

I don't think I'll ever come out via text...but Congratulations anyway!!

Dean Grey said...


Thanks for the link about Jason's essay. Definitely a courageous step on his part!

I'm glad things seem to have gone smoothly between you and your "brother", especially after you told him your news.

Congrats to the both you!!


Ron said...

congrats Aaron, glad to hear things went well


Aek said...

Hurray for things working out well. :-D

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