Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I'm an Optimist

I am an optimist.

I believe in the saying, "Change what you can change, accept what you can't and be wise enough to know the difference." I don't spend my sweet time grieving. If I think something shouldn't be the way it is, boy, as nice as I am, I will do almost anything to fix the injustice. If its something that's completely out of my control, I will find my way around it and do what I can given the situation.

The thing about life is, its easy for us to be disillusioned into thinking that life will work the way we want it to be. If we choose a path, stick to it and be a nice person a long the way, things will work out just the way we expect it to be. We forget about the dynamic of life and we forget that the whole point about being human is that its not perfect.

I learned this the hard way.

If things were meant to be the way it should be, I will be in my second year Graduate Entry Medicine/Surgery Program, my best friend who is one of the nicest persons in the world will still be here and I will not be blogging because I will be completely out of the closet. There will be world peace and all the 72 million children around the world with no access to basic education will be in school. But alas, I'm here doing a postgrad in Education and my best mate is as dead as he can be - never said good-bye nor gave me one last hug.

We get so entrenched by what we believe is the way to go, we look on the path that's cleared to us and never took the leap of faith to take the road least taken, because we're worried about the unknown. Fear takes over us and makes us do and feel stupid things, and fear is exactly what caused wars, social injustice, depression and communism in the first place.

Sure, I have days when I am down and mourn over my loss or disappointment, and these grieving periods are essential for us to move on. Each of us has expectations and everyone of us wants our lives to o the way we want it to be, but things never work out that way. You can wallow in self-pity and feel the pain and loneliness of the disappointment and lost, but at the end of the day, you need to snap out of it, detach yourself from the dark place, told yourself that you've been there and you don't want to be there anymore and move on.

My dear friends, hurting is never easy and we do and think irrational things. But I want to challenge you today to change your life and change the way you think. I am happy because I have went through pain. The pain of losing a brother, a best friend and one of the closest persons in my life who I never got to say good-bye, give him a hug and tell him how much he meant to my life, and I really don't wish anyone has to go through this pain.

Loss reminds us of the present, and that sucks because we have every reason to be happy, to turn things around and to live a purposeful life. The things we have and the things we don't have are merely the physical things that construct around our deep definition of 'life' and being 'alive.

The hottest boy you met, that you have a crush on does not love you, and you can't find a job. That is effing frustrating but at the end of the day, the beauty of being alive is, you get a second chance and you can turn things around. My best friend did not get that chance.

There is nothing in life that's fixed. I was dirt poor, I almost failed high school and I was in the closet for the longest time, but I am living comfortably, graduated from university with three academic awards, top 15% of the whole university and am out to some of my friends. Most of all, I am happy.


MartininBroda said...

Well we have a pretty thoughtful Aaron today, I like this side of you.

Aek said...

Well said. Easier said than done, but still well said. :-)

Anonymous said...

wow just wow why the hell did you write this on the day i chose to be upset?! it helped a lot thank you love Love<~Peter~>

Winter said...

great post aaron. felt like you wrote it for me somehow, maybe cos of the recent events happening. anyway i am glad to tell you that i'm cheering up much :) HUGS.

Ron said...

i still feel it's easier said than done. i try, but not sure if i've snapped out of it yet. i guess i'll need some time.

Dean Grey said...

I wish I could be like you, Aaron.

But I do agree with Ron's comment up above. "Just snapping out of it" doesn't always work for those, especially with deep-rooted issues.


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