Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Happy Disposition


~ Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap

You were born to live a life and to be happy. You started talking, started walking and started making friends. You go to school, make lots of friends, spend most of your days with your friends and your life is all about either your family or friends, or both.

Some way along the line, you hit puberty and you started to understand sexuality. You tried to be straight, in the hope that it is all but just a dream. You dated girls, you made love for the first time and you thought you were in love. You broke up, you cried and you missed her.

You finish school, go to university, make even more friends and lived a decent life. You slowly forget that you were born to be happy. You also started to think about your sexuality more and more, and it hurts you that you cannot tell your family or friends, because of fear.

You fear that they will reject you, you fear that you will have no control over the spread of the news, you fear that if you tell one person, everyone will know, you fear that life will be different after that, you fear that this will mean a different lifestyle, you fear you will be the gay kid. Or you actually fear about fear itself - you don't know what you fear, you just... fear.

You started a blog, make some golden friends and became more comfortable with your sexuality. You slowly garner the courage to come out to one friend. It went well, so you told a second, and then a third and slowly more.

You found a boyfriend, and you live happily ever after.

Maybe the last part is too much a fairytale.

***

This week, I am thankful for many things, and one of them is to Taylor - my pilot boyfriend if anyone still remembers.


It's been a full-on two weeks - juggling full-time work, starting a project/non-profit organisation, being social and trying to run the necessary errands. It hits you in the face and I've been known to overstress myself, lose my sense of humour and then crash.

It's at times like these, I am eternally grateful for friends who send me random text messages to keep me laughing, random phone calls and the random visits from my friends bearing beers.

I am also thankful for bloggers like Brett who provides me much humour (and worry), and Taylor who, this week sent me an email that had me giggling. He also sent me a few naked photos of him and trust me, this boy is a major cutie. Add that with his very random emails and excellent sense of humour, that's why he's my boy. :)

PS: He's not really my boy.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I read your "Happy Disposition" blog and want to give you a hug :)...

Aek said...

I'm glad you have some great friends who recognize when you need that bit of cheering up and out of the blue will send you something or do something that just makes your day.

If only that were true for me . . .

Anonymous said...

ur awesome :)

-Taylor

Fickle Cattle said...

This made me feel better. Thank you. I enjoyed it.

ficklecattle.blogspot.com

bK said...

Cheers, Aaron! We're all in this together. :)

dpking19 said...

BK! now i have that damn song stuck in my head from highschool musical and of course i love your blog thats why i come back so much! Love<~Peter~>

fan of casey said...

It's fun sometimes to imagine having a great boyfriend, if only a virtual one.

Ron said...

lol i thought i read that brett had sent you naked photos and i was like WUT THAT IS NOT LIKE BRETT.

good post [:

lol.

Ron

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