Sunday, October 3, 2010

My Housemate is a Pimp

So, the weather forecast for Stradbroke Island was crap so we decided to cancel our trip. I spent the rest of the week at home resting up before the big storm. Looking at my calendar for the next few weeks makes me excited but anxious at the same time - I'm starting a new job, same role (Researcher), same place but different department; starting uni again (final month) and starting two consulting roles for two new non-profit organisations.

And then there's the travels to Melbourne and Sydney for a week in two weeks time, and a student leadership conference.

Over the last few weeks, my housemate (a girl) has gone from depressed to extremely excited about life, and unfortunately, one of the things in her excitement list is gay-ing me up and pimping me out. She's launched a campaign to find me a boyfriend, and it is fun and funny but at the same time, slightly inappropriate. She's determined to find me a "hot boyfriend" (her words).

I went to a party with her on Friday night where there were at least 2 gay couples and 4 gay/bi guys amongst the other 20 or so straight men. Guys kept coming up to me and talked to me, which was kinda weird until one really, really gorgeous (straight) guy came up to me and told me my housemate has been trying to pimp me out - she was quite drunk at this stage. He exclaimed that I act and dress too straight to be gay and I need to gay myself up a bit more - gay lesson from a straight man, awkward... I have a picture with this guy and my housemate so if you're on my Facebook, you know what I mean by gorgeous. We had a laugh about it and just hung out for the rest of the night. At one stage, I was sleeping on his crotch on someone's bed and he liked it.

Edited: OK, I felt the need to explain this part - I was lying in someone's bed together with another 6 others just chilling to music when he walked in and asked me to move my head so he can sit down. I moved up and then he directed my head to lie on his crotch, so I thought I'd point out the obvious and he replied, "It's OK. I like it" and.... I actually didn't mind it. 

We partied until 4.00am and I was still relatively sober so I walked home (it was a 20 mins walk). On Saturday night, we headed out into the Valley (the red light district of Brisbane) for my birthday. My housemate organised the event, and thus, we went to a gay bar - see what I mean by her attempt to gay me up and pimp me out? Before we hit the town, we went to my best friend's house for pre-drinks, and I really did not plan this too well. When my housemate and Mr Crush met, its like putting two devils together (they've never met). They excitedly discussed their plans to pimp me out and my attempt at separating them was kind of an epic fail.

And that, they did. Throughout the whole night, they dragged men to the dance floor over to me and sandwiched us together. It was well... wrong but I was pretty smashed at this stage and really was in my own world. Hooking up really isn't my kind of thing - I can dirty dance with you but that's just as far as I can go. I did get a girl to dirty dance and make out (for a few secs) with though.

Whenever a not-so-hot guy try to check me out, either my housemate or Mr Crush, or both of them would pretend they're my partner(s). Mr Crush has his hands all over me and at one point in my pants! My housemate kissed me all over and I woke up with lipstick marks all over my cheeks and neck.

However, my housemate did drag a really, really gorgeous, classy man to me though. He is my housemate's ex-colleague and is a model (I can testify that he has sexy abs - I touched them). He joined us in the circle, and several men came to try steal him away but he stayed. We may have dirty danced a bit. We may or may not have kissed, but I certainly did ditch him at the dance floor and went to "get water" - but left the bar to go home. Yes, I ditched my housemate and all my other friends too (there were about 6 of us altogether but we were pretty separated). I was feeling sick and I found a sober friend to drive me home.

I woke up this morning to my housemate coming home (she slept at my best friend's house), excitedly announcing that she's now Mr Crush's good friend and they're organising a second gay night out for me, and this time, making sure that I hook up. WTF!


Anonymous said...

Dear Aaron,

Resistance is futile.

With love,

Anonymous said...

Yeah, let the gay-up begin ;)

and stop you complaining haha I would just play along and enjoy myself (if I'd be single that is).
I know, you probably feel uncomfy but hey, you're young and maybe - just maybe - you'll meet some hot guy and you will get to know each other better. you'll never know!

btw you didn't call me :(

taylor said...

hey bish,

send me the pic, now. :)


Nic said...

I like your housemate and mr crush. It's about time. :). Btw hi Sheeeeern :)

Captastro said...

Sounds like you found the situation a bit awkward, but really didn't mind the attention all that much. Good sport. :D Wish my friends would hook me up with a hot model. lol

Mind Of Mine said...

The picture of the guys holding hands is in Dublin, Temple Bar.

Lying down on the crotch, sounds hotter after the explanation!

Phunk Factor said...

U need to watch this week's episode of Glee....everybody keeps telling Mr. Shuester to loosen Aaron, I'm advising u the same....LOOSEN UP!!

Let them take over...what's the worst tht cud happen? :p

Anonymous said...

yay... your roomate did what all of us in the blogosphere could not do... awesome!... like to hear more adventures :)...

On a serious note: Aaron, you had mentioned that you work for a non-profit organization that helps gay kids...

Here is something that happened in the US over past several weeks. Five young kids took their lives becuase of persecution in one form or another because of their sexual orientation. The recent one was tyler clementi who jumped off GW bridge in NY after being outed online by his roommate when having sexual encounter with another man. Google the name and you will get the entire story. Billy lucas, Seth Walsh and several other had a similar fate.

What I would like for you to do?

Please please write a blog post saying that if anyone needs an outlet that there are places to reach and that they can always reach out to you by email.

Please tell them that it will only get better and that life is too precious to give away because of ignorance or hatredness.

Why am I asking you to do this?

Because you have a good number of followers who have other followers, who can link your blogpost. In that way if your post could change the mind of one anonymous kid to live and believe that it does get better, then my friend you have saved a life...

Please consider writing a post..

Thank you very much...

bK said...

Wow, this post was just... wow. *Fans with both hands* Overload, overload!

Glad you had a blast, Aaron!

Winter said...

haha aaron this post sounds soo naughty lol C: tho it seems crazy it seems like your friends got things under control which is nice, who knows? i need friends like yours when i'm your age >< HUGS!

Aek said...

How do I express my jealousy? Lol, it sounds like you had a great time. :-)

Ron said...


your face is futile.


- Ron

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