Monday, November 8, 2010

Goodbye. I Guess This is the End.

So, this is the end of this blog - A Beautifool Chaos - and for many of you, the last time you'll hear from me as well. 

It's been about a year since this blog began and over the past year, many, many things have changed, including coming out to my housemates and some of my friends. I have also become more and more comfortable being at least bisexual or gay.

It would be a lie to say that I wrote this blog entirely for myself, because although I wrote this blog for myself and as a form of reflection on my own coming out / acknowledgment process, this blog has also served as a platform for me to actually get to know a lot of you guys - many whom have shared your compelling story with me. You guys are also the reason that I have been moving forward and I have also become really close friend with a number of you, and friends with a few of you.

I really cannot thank you enough for being a significant part of my life and walking this walk with me, and at the same time, over the past year, I've also probably made a few enemies as well so if you're one of them, I apologise. I've never meant to harm anyone or offend anyone - if anything, I just want everyone to be well and happy. And if you want to hug it out, send me an email, rant your heart out and I'll reply.

So, I guess, this is the end. I'll turn this blog into private so its inaccessible within the next few days - I'll check my email for another few days and reply and bid farewell to some of you. I'll also be deleting my twitter account and disappear from your life as quick as I appeared a year ago. I cannot thank you guys individually because I don't even know who else is reading, but if you are, please send me an email - if I want to continue to keep in touch with you, I'll reply and reveal my identity and we'll keep in touch through my real identity.

I don't know what else I can say other than you're all a great bunch of people with so much compassion and kindness. It's so hard to believe that sometimes, but I hope you find them within you.

For all those who are still struggling through life just because of your sexuality, I hope you realise that somewhere, around this big, big world is quite a number of people who would love to give you a great big hug and tell you that "it's okay, mate. It will get better". Whatever shitty time you're going through, please remember that there is always someone who love you just the way you are - you just haven't met the person yet. Get help, reach out, build support and make sure you surround yourself with people you love. I've said this many, many times but I do want you guys to realise that there is hope.

For those who are and have been curious about how I look like, here's a picture for you. I hope that feeds your curiosity and make up for the fact that I am disappearing from your life.

For those who have written me all those love emails (a grand total of 2 of you), I very much appreciate it. To those who have written me emails and shared your stories with me and allow me into some parts of your life, I am so grateful and I cannot thank you enough.

I with you all, only the best and I hope you guys don't wank over my picture keep holding onto hope and happiness.

For the very last time, much love to you all.

PS: The best way to contact me over the next few days is through my email -

Added: I wanted to clarify that nothing bad happened or anything dramatic that prompted me to close this blog. I just think that its the right and perfect time to move on from this blog. :) I'm slowly replying to emails, so bear with me.


Phunk Factor said...

End of another awesome one...crapppp!! :(

Lunty said...

i hate endings :/ and we're not that close so im pretty sure you wont keep contact with me :( also, thanks for the pics :) it satisfied my obsession of wanting to see if bloggers are cute :3 we'll miss you honey, hope to see you again someday. bye bye

Mind Of Mine said...

I am going to miss reading your blog, but it seems you are at peace with your decision.

I wish you all the best.

Anonymous said...

I fully understand why you are closing your blog. It takes a great deal of time and effort to maintain one. This is the reason why I don't have a blog despite the encouragement of my friends to open my own. Furthermore, I am straight and it seems there's no blog about daily life for straight guys.

I have to say I've learned that except for the object of affection, there's not much difference between a straight and a gay guy when it comes to life struggles, hopes and dreams.

Good luck Aaron. I hope the boyfriend you mentioned is not a fantasy and that you'll be happy together.

Caesar Augustus

Bobby Derrekson said...

hey cutie, I will miss you! I hope that life brings you many great things and lots and lots of sex! :) Your pervy friend bobby.

JC said...

My friend-

You have been such an inspiration to so many people throughout this year. You never cease to amaze me and keep me in awe of the life you are leading. The blogosphere will have a gigantic hole in it that will be impossible to fill.

I wish you nothing but the best, and I cannot wait to see what the world has in store for you!

Take care!

Ron said...

well, it's sad to see you leave and i hope somehow we will be able to maintain contact through emailing and the such.. i wish you the best of luck in everything and hopefully hear from you every now and then

take care and thanks!

- ron

tracy said...

i am loving on your picture, handsome one!

i apologize for the scarcity of comments, however, i sooo appreciate the e-mail and i so wish you all the best, lovely one.

Please don't go! ;)

Be well and be happy,

Hugs and love,

Seth said...

Hey Aaron I'm very sorry to hear you are leaving Blog Land, I hope everything is ok. It's always a bit sad to lose part of our community but I hope you found some benefits from your blog and for your involvement in blogging. I wish you the very best of luck, success and happiness in your journeys.

*Sethboyardee Hugs*

Stay safe, stay happy. :-)


Anonymous said...

I'm going to miss you Aaron and I have a post on my blog just for you

Take care Aaron

JP said...

I'm going to miss you, mate; your blog was a standout and has provided me with much reading enjoyment. I wish you the best wherever your life takes you.

Take Care and Good Luck,


the immigayrant said...

Oh, no.

You were one of my favourite bloggers.

Anyway, I'll send you a message. Hopefully you'd want to keep in touch.



Butterflies and hand-grenades said...

Wow...I am rather displeased that you are leaving...You always had a well written, and fascinating story to tell. I really hope you find what you are looking for, you deserve all the happiness in the world :)

Prince Charming Nathan:) said...

No waaay! I started reading you again after a long while and you are closing your blog?!

Not fair...

Aek said...

It's sad to see you go so suddenly. I regret that we weren't able to chat much on IM, I guess that's just what happens when you're half a world away.

But I'll send you an email (hopefully sooner rather than later). It was nice getting to know you a bit via your blog.

I wish you the best in everything. Take care and get plenty of sleep!

torchy! said...

I clearly remember the morning you popped into my life, tweeting me about a photo that I'd just posted during my walk to work in London about a year ago.

We chatted a bit back then for a while, exchanging some rather flirty and fun dm's and we even had a skype voice convo too. For whatever reason we haven't spoken for a while though.

I have come to appreciate that you are an awesome guy, Aaron. You will touch and enrich peoples lives in many ways, both at an individual level and at a much broader level through your charitable and educational work.

You are a true inspiration and I wish you success, prosperity and above all happiness and fulfilment in all that you do, in both your professional and personal life.

take care and good luck on your journey


Dean Grey said...


You're making me teary-eyed right now.

All I can think of is "why"?

I'm guessing you're too busy to blog or maybe your blog served your original purpose to reach out and meet others like yourself.

Why not keep the blog public but just update when you can?

Why say goodbye so completely?

I'm going to miss your presence in the blogging community more than you know.

You're a powerful force for love, support, and friendship.



A Wandering Pom said...

Hi there, Aaron

This is only my second comment here, so I can't say I've ever been close to you, to my regret. Nevertheless I've been reading your blog for six or seven months now. It's inspirational, both for the message that you're trying to get through to people about their lives, and also as the story of your coming out. I will miss seeing new posts from you.

I'm sure many more people read your blog than comment on it, so I would urge you to keep it public. If you no longer want or need to post, then simply stop posting - there's no obligation on you. If you want a private blog, then I suggest you start a new one, and invite those people to join that you want.

In any case, whatever you do, I wish you all the best for the future.

Take care


Jason Shaw said...

We're not close, however, I can tell you that I've enjoyed this trip with you. I wish you well as the next steps unfurl and continue onwards.

May you always be blessed with happiness, love and a warm jacket!


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