Regardless of how many times I've done this before, bidding goodbye to a city that I have grown fond of is still not getting any easier. This will be my 5th time moving to a different city, 5th time bidding goodbye to a group of familiar friends and love ones that I have grown used to and love.
It doesn't make it easier this time that I have a significant other.
When this relationship first started, I had doubts for at least 3 days whether I did the right thing or not even though I was the one who initiated the relationship. Then over the months, we grow to become used to each other - from the smell to the kiss, the touch to the cuddle.
Last night as we drove along the highway, past the city, I stare at the passing lights reflecting on all the memorable moments we had together - the first time he introduced me to his friends, the first time I introduced him to my friends, the first time he introduced me to his colleague, the first time we held hands, the time we shared stories of our past, the times we cuddled, the times we spent all night listening to Disney songs.
It's hard to describe but every time we are together, he gives me a sense of pride and a sense of gratefulness. The relationship feels so natural that sometimes I feel that its wrong - we grew to become used to each other so quickly. Don't get me wrong, I am not thinking that its a bad thing. Our relationship is not perfect either, we have both been grumpy at each other but we both also know what to say and not to say when either or us is grumpy thus we never make a drama out of it - plus, when either of us is grumpy, we usually tell each other. Usually our grumpyness is induced by either lack of food or sleep and that's usually very quickly fixed.
He has an outer layer which he believes is real, and its not a very pretty outer layer - arrogant, vain, self-centred and emotionless - and he'd shamelessly agree to them! Then when you spend enough time with him, you'd start picking up on his actions contradicting his words. The things he does and the things he would do, contradicts with the exterior of who he thinks he is.
His honesty, genuine compassion for others especially those who struggle with their sexuality or family issues, willingness to help his friends or just people around him in general - sometimes I wonder if that's more beautiful or the fact that he doesn't realised these are nice things to do make it more beautiful.
Six more days for us to enjoy each other's company and make the most of the time we have left together. It will be interesting to see what happens from then onwards, being each other's ex-partners; but whatever it is, I believe we've both brought up the best in each other and we've both become better people because of each other.
This relationship has been everything plus beautiful, and I think came at the right time in both our lives, making us both better humans because of it. I sure am going to miss this relationship a whole lot, but more so, him.