Sunday, August 14, 2011

What's a Man's Worth

I was just about to give up on love when I meet a beautiful man.

As if a fairytale, it seemed almost unreal, a little bit too perfect and just slightly too beautiful to be true. You might remember from my last post that I met this boy at a conference and we had something really briefly.

Since then, I've been in Sydney at least 4-5 times, and by that, I mean I get to spend about 3-4 nights with him each time I am down in Sydney. We've never spent overnight together nor have we had sex but we have definitely been closer than most couples have. We hold hands, we hold each other tight and we give each other a kiss and a cuddle almost openly wherever we are. We've shared so many beautiful memories its slightly ridiculous.

From walking hand in hand around the entire city, to wrapping around each other on top of Sydney Opera House overlooking the harbour and the Harbour Bridge talking about our past, out partying until 3.30am, exploring food around Sydney, a ferry trip, a beautiful dinner with another gay couple friend and cuddling near the harbour enjoying the beautiful sunset. We've spoken about our past, our present and our future, we've entered a 54 hours startup competition, worked in a team and won, we've been sharing with each other our good news and it gets harder and harder everytime we say goodbye.

Yet, we've never once discussed our relationship - when I am back in Melbourne, we never talk on the phone and we probably text each other once a week. Having said that, I've been in Sydney about once every week or two, thus we've been seeing each other quite a bit.

I've been single for almost 5 years and over the last few months, it seems like I've just been indulging in a companion after companion. It does seem almost strange to have these beautiful and most importantly loving men in my life. Transitioning from having girlfriends and being single to having man after man to love and be loved, and to share a life with, its strange.. and strangely beautiful too.

Not only is Tay good-looking and adorable (he was an actor and have acted alongside Cate Blanchett - go figure), he treats me super well. He's constantly worry about how I feel, which peeves me a bit but it is beautiful especially when he brings me to all these beautiful places and showers me with affection. Before you vomit, we're also aware of the general public and have not been overly disgusting - and we're both not exactly the gay-est people in real life either. But it was beautiful to have a young gay boy coming up to us letting us know that watching us holding hands in public gives him hope.

Where is this relationship going? No one knows. I don't see myself moving up to Sydney nor does he see himself moving down to Melbourne in the near future.
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