Monday, July 1, 2013

A Letter to a Loved One

Dear Oliver,

I miss you.

As I lie here on the bed we shared for a week one last night, memories of you flood back. It's strange to think that just two weeks ago, we're strangers and now, I'd like to think, we share a special relationship beyond the boundaries of a common friendship.

I've never been perfect at relationships. My biggest challenge has always been trying to express my love and feelings through words sometimes. I guess I haven't had much trouble finding love relatively speaking so  I've taken things for granted in the past.

With you, I am feeling very conflicted and confused.


Like many things I get into, things always turn out to be different and more than the way I anticipated and envisioned them to be. You were supposed to be a fling I dwell in for a week before you and I part ways; a temporary guilty pleasure. I find it difficult to see where and how things can develop.

However, you little bastard, full of your charm and kindness made my heart melt after just a few days. I found it difficult to even have sex with you the first night because my brain struggled to process you let alone anything else mechanical we have to be focusing on! And it's not only just about you, but how you make others feel when you're with them that's very endearing. You always make others feel included and listened, and with me you always make me feel very, very special and loved.

You do talk too much sometimes. :P Hehe. I admit I switched off accidentally mid-sentence sometimes when I am too sleepy (you know whose fault) and make up what you were talking about based on 3/4 of the dialogues I caught.

Otherwise, you're a gem. Your authenticity, kindness, compassion and your easy-going attitude makes it so extremely difficult to not fall in love with you and your cute face. I think many people underestimate you, and your simplicity mask the complex vision and confidence you hold. Anyone who has the opportunity to share intimacy with you is fortunate because you leave an inspiring indent on the lives that you cross path with.

I feel conflicted because part of me thinks that you're still young and you've just very recently explored this side of your sexuality so you should go wild. You should explore and dive into the different worlds, experience and be.

Having said that though, you're very special and I don't want to burn any bridges with you. I hope that you do go out there and go wild, however you'll allow me to hold you in a special place in my heart until when we both agree its time. There are many things I cannot promise you as I find it difficult to see where our futures head, however, I can promise to love you and to always lend you my arm, my ear and my heart.


Bear with me, and I hope you'll come enjoy this ride with me and let's see how far we travel. Okay?

I really am very grateful for the past week with you. In the last few days, little things have brought back so much memories of you - from the showers to parking at the shops, let alone the bed where we've cuddled. As our paths continue to diverge, let's hold onto these memories and let them inspire us to invest in experiences. Our paths will cross again sooner than you think.

As the rain gently tap on the roof outside and the cold air wraps my skin, I lie here on this bed thinking about you. More than anything in the world right now, and I do mean that literally, I wish you're in my arms. And I get to wrap you tight, kiss you all over your cute face, stare into your gorgeous brown eyes and tell you how beautiful you are.

I love you and I miss you bub.

x


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